My full name is "Mini Water Baby Beltaine B'Stard". Daddy calls me "Mr B", but I'm usually Beltaine" or "Belts". I have an older sister who's called "Warrior Princess Lovely Lilly Pudding Monster" but to her friends she's "Lilly". I like her, even though she bullies me sometimes. I live in a cool gothic style house in a nice area of Leicester but I have to share it with Lilly and, of course, Mummy and Daddy. We have to employ them to open the tins of food 'cos we struggle with our paws. Lilly came here with Daddy and she thinks it's her house, but I was here first. She's teaching me to fight and I'm not such a soft baby now so I don't get bullied by the other cats in the area so that's good. I sometimes jump out at her to give her a taste of her own medicine, but usually I'm a chilled out dude. On netgoth, Mummy is Lizzywizzy and Daddy is LostLittleRobot.
This is very out of date. I'll leave it for the sake of posterity but suffice to say I only love Mummy now.